am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
