Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
