I hate your face
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
