My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
