That's intense
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
