He asked me if I "almost moaned"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
