So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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