i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
