You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
