I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
