We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
