"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
