My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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