You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
