dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
