i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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