I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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