Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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