Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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