My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Boobs are out for the taking
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
