I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
