the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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