So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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