I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
