So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
