Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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