im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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