do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
