So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just gargled with NyQuil
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
