I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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