the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
