we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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