you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
