It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
