Already got asked if we're dating
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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