You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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