Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
