Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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