i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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