i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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