he puts the penis in happiness.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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