I think my vagina is haunted
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
He felt like a one man threesome
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
