If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
