Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
