I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
