I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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