I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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