Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
