It's a beautiful day for a hangover
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
