the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
